I wrote this three months ago and have no idea why it didn’t end up getting published. Anyway.
I was just looking back on some of my oldest posts (from way back on Blogger) and then some of my recent posts, and I realized just how much my depression has slowly consumed my life over the past 5 years.
While several things in my life are less than ideal; frustrating, confusing, what have you; there are a couple good things going on and I’m going to take a moment to remind myself that positivity exists. Continue reading “Something optimistic for once”
Content notices for exercise, food, health scare, mental health, financial issues, break-ups
Yeah, things are really weird right now. I have a mixture of really awesome things happening and really awful things happening, some of which I’ve been hesitant to discuss openly, since this is a public blog and it posts to my public Twitter, Facebook, G+ and Tumblr.
I guess I’ll start by telling you the good things that have been happening lately. (And then mixing in the bad because I have a hard time not doing that.) Continue reading “Things Are Hard. [Recovery/Update]”
Aaahhhhh, I’m so happy about this!
I asked my manager way back in January if I could switch to evening/day shift and it’s finally happening!!!
I just counted how many more times I have to work overnight and it’s only 6!
I’m so looking forward to being able to sleep like a normal person again. I’ll be able to tell if I haven’t been sleeping well because of depression or because it’s daytime and my body is like wtf are you doing. Over the last few years I’ve learned that you never actually adjust to that schedule. Or, at least, I never adjusted. Continue reading “Finally getting off night shift!!!”
Positive post with content notes: sleep, food, anxiety, racism re: Mike Brown
Wheeee! It was so nice to sleep in my own bed today, and in a room that was ACTUALLY DARK. HOLY FUCK. My hotel window was westward-facing, which was just **terrific** for sleeping in the evening. The curtains were thick, but nothing stops the light from peeking under and above them. However, the pillows were down and while I’m against that ethically, there’s no denying how amazingly comfortable it was.
So, the purpose of my trip was to teach the third shift people how to use our registers and generally inform them of company policy on things. Which means that I didn’t have to do any shift duties, although they did have me make labels for some of the product in the store one night. (I love being given responsibilities, it makes me feel so boss.) Continue reading “Back in Town”
So, yeah, I’m gonna go to sleep here soon and then wake up in about six hours so I can drive an hour and a half to the new store! And then after I work eight hours I get to drive to a hotel 30 miles north of the store and that’ll be where I’m staying for the next ten days. Wooo! I guess.
I had an amazing day today for oxytocin-related reasons that I won’t get into. :p
I really should be getting my shit together right now but I think I’m trying to put off going to sleep because this is my last chance to just.. be here in my apartment at my computer. For a week and a half. Ugh. I’m gonna miss my kitties. x.x
But! It’ll hopefully be relatively nice/fun/not shitty. I’m hoping I give myself some time to just like.. chill and work on crocheting or knitting or something. I think I’m sharing a room, so that’ll be kinda weird/interesting. I like the woman I’ll be rooming with, but she’ll be asleep when I get to the hotel from work and then I’ll be asleep before she leaves, but w/e.
Wish me luck!
Yeah! So, my therapist was late (he forgot he had a 9am on Monday morning; I’m willing to forgive this). However! He seems to be pretty good at his job, and I like talking to him. One session is hardly everything, but I did feel better afterward.
I mean, I cried kinda hard on-and-off for a few hours, but that was mostly just processing things and having emotional build-up from the last several weeks/months/years.
I’m tired and don’t have the spoons to go on about therapy stuff at the mo’. Not sure why I’m choosing to write when I don’t have the brainspace to really write, but whaaaatever. TL;DR: I’m looking forward to making progress.
We’re very abruptly taking over the new store next week, so starting Wednesday I’m going to be out of town for ten days straight. x.x Thankfully I have two nights off beforehand, and will have two nights off after. Sort of a buffer. Still though, ten-day stretches are never fun. I’LL MAKE IT, IT’LL BE FINE.
This is kind of a weird thing: The company I work for has acquired another store, and they’re having a few people from my store go there to train for two weeks. My manager asked me to do the training on 3rd shift, and I decided to go for it.
It’s in a tiny town, like, an hour and a half away from where we work, so the three of us are staying in a hotel. However, the town is so tiny that it doesn’t have a hotel and we have to stay a half hour away. :p
So basically I’ll be checking into the hotel on Monday and checking out Saturday morning, coming home for the weekend, then going back to rinse/repeat the next Monday. I assume we’ll have internet access and I might go for a few walks. Exploring a new city might be fun. I’m downloading MapleStory on my laptop as we speak, so Degon and I could probably play together. (I still have to find out if the laptop can actually run the game. Oh shit, I lost The Game.) I’ll probably end up calling him at least a few times.
Things are weird with me and Degon right now, so on the one hand I’m kind of grateful for the opportunity to have some space but also don’t want to do that since we’re specifically trying to re-knit the closeness of our relationship? This is going to be the longest we’ve been away from each other since we moved in together. Weird.
Anyhow, I feel kinda special that they wanted me to do it. Pretty much no one else has the experience needed, and my manager would likely have ended up being the one to train the night shift if I hadn’t accepted. I imagine they’ll give me some Bonus Bucks or something to indicate their thanks.
I’m an adult now?