Home from CONvergence!

We’ve been home since about one-ish? I had a delirious half-nap earlier and I’m quite tired, since we woke up yesterday morning at like seven. We’re staying up until an appropriate bed time in order to wake up for work tonight. :p bleh

I don’t write enough; it’s one of many problems I’ve allowed to continue for way too long. So even though I’m incredibly tired and my thoughts have been increasingly difficult to organize coherently, and I keep typo’ing, I figured I’d post something.

In short, CONvergence was a blast. I met some cool people and saw some of my friends (many of whom I met at last year’s CON). I got lots of hugs and met Caitlin Blackwood (baby Amy Pond). Degon came with me and got to meet a lot of my buddies, effectively putting names to faces.

I made a pretty important promise to get better, both to myself and Degon. I’m going to do everything I can to keep it.

There’s an adorable kitty in my lap, who missed me. They’re both being so sweet right now.

I’m pretty upset that I have to go to work tonight. Throughout the weekend, I was pretty casual about my plans to quit my job. It seems like it’s fairly-well decided that I need to find a new job quickly. It’s just the healthier decision at this point.

There were some shitty moments, as is to be expected with the depression. And we missed some things I would rather have caught. But overall the good outweighs the bad and I’m going to remember it well.

I may have planted a seed for blogging at FTB someday, but part of me (depression-brain or not) is pretty certain that it’s going to be a forgotten notion. I suppose it seems counterintuitive to try blogging at FTB if I haven’t been blogging at TS or Queereka. It’s hard to describe, but basically I don’t feel like I have the proper structure or voice to blog at a group thing like Skepchick network sites. I guess I feel like there’s a standard of professionalism and non-personalism that I can’t live up to on a regular basis. Meh. I dunno. (I’m also, honestly, kind of done being a “blogger at Teen Skepchick”).

So yeah, I’m glad to be home. Love my kitties, love my Degon. Glad he came with me. Look forward to next year and/or the next time I get to see any of my skeptics.


Emotional Associations, Music, and Being Socially Conscious

My friend and I were having a conversation a couple weeks ago and I stopped to ask them a question. I couldn’t tell you what they actually said, but I remember the message and particularly the accompanying facial expression. I think “wry” is the correct term. That face and the emotions I can guess were behind it are sticking with me, more-so than their actual answer.

This is definitely not the first time I’ve had an emotional association strong enough to blot out other aspects of a memory. On the flip-side, I’ve had emotional associations strong enough to throw me back years into vacuum-clear recollections that I wasn’t aware still existed in my cortex. I’ve particularly noticed this phenomenon with certain songs and bands that I used to listen to.
Continue reading “Emotional Associations, Music, and Being Socially Conscious”

My Skeptical Blindspot: People

There was an Afternoon Inquiry (or Inqueery, I can’t remember if it was Skepchick or Queereka) a few months ago which asked about skeptical blindspots–that is, things that skeptics don’t question enough or that they don’t speculate about which they probably should. For lots of other people, this thing is GPS or Wikipedia or a close friend. I have learned in the last couple days that People are my skeptical blindspot.

I thought I’d had my skeptic nerve sufficiently shocked into function when I was surprised with a nearly $400 fee on a blood test I was told would be $50 a few months ago. That was a shitty way to realize that I’m not skeptical enough of the medical community. My People blindspot was uncovered in a less unpleasant, but no less surprising way. Continue reading “My Skeptical Blindspot: People”

Afraid of the Dark

We all like to think that we’re rational people, lots of us having come from a background of woo or religion or some other superstition. I have to admit that I sometimes fall victim to culturally-instilled views and some of it is so ingrained in me that I have a hard time mastering it with reason.

Sometimes when I walk through the dark, I feel a gripping fear in my chest. I grew up watching horror movies, and some of them have had themes of things materializing in the blackness, such as Darkness Falls. I’m not complaining–I thoroughly enjoy the experience now as well as then, even if the bad guys used to be plausible in my mind.

Continue reading “Afraid of the Dark”

I Love Activism

After several weeks of feeling totally crappy, I’ve balanced back out! Quite nice. And lots of really great things are happening with life right now! Intentional bad grammar!

Recently, I’ve been added to Queereka as a regular contributor. It’s another Skepchick site, sure, but it is another site. Getting to know more people and sacrificing sleep to chat with them.

Also, that. I had a text Skype chat with fellow Queereka members to talk about business and generally banter. Following that, I dropped in on the Gamers for Godlessness marathon to chat with JT Eberhard, Jason Thibeault, and Lauren Lane for a couple hours. I got to plug my jewelry-making and got the idea from JT to make a piece to donate to Camp Quest for them to auction off. I’m going to make it this morning and surprise him with an email asking wtf to do with it. :D

One of the organizers for Skeptics of Oz is in email contact with me, discussing what I might talk about when I SPEAK THERE IN APRIL. Yeah. Speaking at an event. Alongside JT Eberhard and other notable atheists. Maybe. But it’s looking good.

This morning, I’m so happy and so thankful and so incredibly dumbfounded that I’ve made it this far. I attended my first atheist event in February and started writing for Teen Skepchick in April. I feel like I’ve made so much progress in such a short amount of time.

I love every single person I’ve met because of my activism. There’s no way I’d be growing and blossoming like this if I hadn’t met wonderful people who are unfailingly supportive, kind, and respectful. They’ve all treated me like I belong, and I feel welcomed and comfortable and loved.

From what I can tell, I’m even a better person since I started being active in the community. I identify as a humanist and try to do as much as I can to help others. I’ve eliminated so many of the harmful mindsets and language I’ve used to lesser other people, even the ones I never knew I was doing. I’m strong enough to hold my ground and challenge illogical beliefs openly. This may very well be my career. 

To all the lovely feminists, nontheists, activists, bloggers, geeks, science nerds, gamers and all: Thank you so much. I’m so glad I know all of you and get to share my experiences with you. You make me feel more at home than I ever have before.

Love all of you. <3

Being a Blogger at Teen Skepchick

Let me just say that I started the draft for this post weeks ago and I’m finally in a mood to write. I haven’t really done anything productive in the last several weeks. Well, I discovered writing in circular Gallifreyan and got part-way through making a pendant. That’s about it, though.

I started writing for TS in April. It’s a wonderful opportunity to insert myself in a community that I want to really be part of. It’s granted me a platform and an audience, both online and IRL. I have lots of new friends and acquaintances, and I had an opportunity to actually leave my state for a few days! (Crazy, right?) I got to meet Rebecca Watson and fucking PZ Myers. Continue reading “Being a Blogger at Teen Skepchick”

CONvergence 2012!

Okay, it’s been several days, but I think I finally have time to sit down and write a bit about SkepchickCON.

We got in at about 5pm, much much earlier than I had anticipated. We visited the apocalypse panel, met a super super creepy kid, and generally awkwarded around the Skepchick party room.

The Dr. Horrible Sing Along was this night, and it was amazing. The gigantic room was packed. Lots of people would speak with some of the more memorable lines. “Because the status.. is NOT.. quo..” I was a little disappointed at how few people were singing Felicia Day’s parts. I assume it’s partially that I couldn’t hear people, and I can’t blame a lot of them for clinging to the protagonists’s lines. I used my femmy-femme voice to harmonize.

Continue reading “CONvergence 2012!”