An Ignorant Doctor

Content note: This is a post about birth control, sex, mild transphobia, and misgendering to the max.

So, I’m 19 (nearly 20!) and haven’t been on birth control for years. My hubby and I were using condoms for the first couple years and then that pretty much deteriorated, especially after learning cool stuff like how the pull out method is surprisingly effective.

I’ve been wanting to get an IUD for quite some time, for multiple reasons. I don’t want hormonal birth control (like the pill) because I really don’t want a body more full of femme hormones. I don’t want bigger tits and I’m scared of the dysphoria I’ve heard people experience just from having certain hormones in their bodies. I want to get one thing and then not have to deal with it again for a while, and since I don’t want kids for several years, a 5-year simple thing would be the best method. Continue reading “An Ignorant Doctor”

Dear Cis Guys:

Dear cis guys:

1. What the fuck?
2. Fucking why?
3. Fuck off.

Unnecessary disclaimer: Obviously this is not directed at all cis men. This is mostly a rant and I’m pointing out cis men because they have privilege-blindness and are the ones who most often do this to me. Also, clearly there’s going to be a lot of cussing in this post, so be aware of that… Now, on with the story.

I work in a convenience store. I see a lot of people–at least a hundred per night. Based on probability theory, I will inevitably have creepy dudes staring at me and offering me their number and shit. I’ve written about it before, so clearly this isn’t a new thing. But it still drives me up a fucking wall.

Last night, there was a dude who came in to buy something; I don’t remember what it was. But he was staring at me throughout the transaction. Not just staring, but leering. I could not come up with another word for it: he was staring and smiling this creepy-as-shit smile. I did what I always do: offer up my best customer service and quickly end the interaction so I could get back to the other work I needed to be doing. Continue reading “Dear Cis Guys:”

Abuse of Male Privilege

Okay, I’ve had a hard time articulating exactly why this bothers me, and I want some of my feminist friends to weigh in and help me figure out if I’m on the side of correctness or if I’m making things up.

Last summer, a guy hit on me at work, asking for my number. I told him no and lied and said I was engaged. He said he was married and implied that that wasn’t a major factor. I told him I still wasn’t going to give him my number.

He then told me he was just kidding around and that that’s a Thing he does; asking women in various places for their number to see how they’d respond. I think he was a trucker, so he has a variety of women to choose from I guess.

I haven’t thought about this in a long time, but now that I’m looking at it with strengthened feminist sensibilities, it seems like an abuse of privilege to the max. This is a guy who makes a habit of conducting this odd social experiment on women who are at work (a couple of his other stories involved waitresses). Continue reading “Abuse of Male Privilege”

Violence Against Women Act–Police Inaction

Here’s a microblog, since it’s been a while.

I watched this video:

which prompted me to look it up on Google where I found an article called “What’s Wrong with the Violence Against Women Act?

I just want to quote a section from the Time’s article:

When Congress passed the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) in 1994, it was a landmark in federally recognizing the scourge of domestic violence. It also brought about a very practical change, meant to address the problem of cops treating such cases as private family matters instead of serious crimes.

My emphasis; this just hits a nerve. I would guess that a majority of domestic violence cases are men abusing women. If it’s not true, I apologize. However, a number of them have been constructed as such. The idea that cops would look at a domestic violence case and not look into it further because it’s a “private family matter” is so fucked.

It just strikes me as a view that a man, head of household, husband, earner, has a right outside the law to abuse his family because… they’re his property? Children and women have been and still are purchasable and trade-able, and for a long time men were the only people who could actually own anything. Unfortunate that these things still pervade our culture.

Women Leaving Atheism

In an attempt to turn this blog into something more than a diary where I complain about how awful everything is, here’s a post that matters.

Going through my updated RSS feed, I stumbled on this Pharyngula post about Natalie Reed leaving FTB. This is the second person I’ve ‘known’ who left Freethought Blogs. The other is Jen McCreight on Blag Hag. My dad stopped keeping up with atheism news because of the negativity and ended up shutting his Atheist Neighbor blog and network down for various reasons.

The negativity is really awful for some people. I don’t really notice a big difference in my own moods based on whether or not I’m exposed to whatever crap is happening in the world. I’m definitely fortunate in that I haven’t achieved much notoriety and thus don’t get harassed regularly like some of my fellows. It’s easier for me to be emotionally detached since I’m viewing as a third-party. Continue reading “Women Leaving Atheism”

Comments Out of Context

“I’m a big believer in karma,” he said. “You don’t put on a dress when the Titanic is going down so you can get in the first lifeboat.”

Okay, so how fucked up is it that ‘women and children first’ was ever a thing? I mean, I understand the ‘children’ part, but once you get to adults, why the fuck are teh menz supposed to let the ladies go first? Men are less valuable? More likely to survive?


Harassment at Work

“Harassment” may not be exactly the right word for what I’m experiencing at work. It’s hard to articulate in a phrase exactly how uncomfortable I am.

When I got to work last night, I was told to call the assistant manager. Upon doing so, he informed me that a man called the store that afternoon who “doesn’t know me”, asking about my age and trying to get information about me. The manager declined to answer his questions, and told me that he suspected “romantic interest”. He just wanted me to be aware of the incident.

I have a suspicion about who called for me. About a week ago, a guy came in for coffee. Small talk ensued, I’m always polite at work. Before leaving the counter, he asked me for a pen and paper; I obliged. I caught a glance of what he’d written (it was his name and number) and immediately was super uncomfortable. He left the counter, went to the bathroom, and came back to give it to me.

“Have you ever been to Michigan?”
“Can’t say I have.” Continue reading “Harassment at Work”