Dear Cis Guys:

Dear cis guys:

1. What the fuck?
2. Fucking why?
3. Fuck off.

Unnecessary disclaimer: Obviously this is not directed at all cis men. This is mostly a rant and I’m pointing out cis men because they have privilege-blindness and are the ones who most often do this to me. Also, clearly there’s going to be a lot of cussing in this post, so be aware of that… Now, on with the story.

I work in a convenience store. I see a lot of people–at least a hundred per night. Based on probability theory, I will inevitably have creepy dudes staring at me and offering me their number and shit. I’ve written about it before, so clearly this isn’t a new thing. But it still drives me up a fucking wall.

Last night, there was a dude who came in to buy something; I don’t remember what it was. But he was staring at me throughout the transaction. Not just staring, but leering. I could not come up with another word for it: he was staring and smiling this creepy-as-shit smile. I did what I always do: offer up my best customer service and quickly end the interaction so I could get back to the other work I needed to be doing. Continue reading “Dear Cis Guys:”


Abuse of Male Privilege

Okay, I’ve had a hard time articulating exactly why this bothers me, and I want some of my feminist friends to weigh in and help me figure out if I’m on the side of correctness or if I’m making things up.

Last summer, a guy hit on me at work, asking for my number. I told him no and lied and said I was engaged. He said he was married and implied that that wasn’t a major factor. I told him I still wasn’t going to give him my number.

He then told me he was just kidding around and that that’s a Thing he does; asking women in various places for their number to see how they’d respond. I think he was a trucker, so he has a variety of women to choose from I guess.

I haven’t thought about this in a long time, but now that I’m looking at it with strengthened feminist sensibilities, it seems like an abuse of privilege to the max. This is a guy who makes a habit of conducting this odd social experiment on women who are at work (a couple of his other stories involved waitresses). Continue reading “Abuse of Male Privilege”

The Best Analogy for Privilege Ever

Okay you guys, I just came up with the best analogy for privilege.

Have you ever had a bladder infection or UTI? (I guess this might work for kidney stones as well.) If you have, you’re currently cringing. If you have, you might sometimes feel grateful when you pee that it doesn’t burn like fuck, because you’ve dealt with that horrible shit before.

And privilege is never even thinking about what it feels like to pee because it’s always the same and has never been the worst thing about your day.

“I don’t even get how trans* people know they ‘feel’ like another gender. I don’t feel like a man, I just am one!”

“Merry Christmas! How could anyone be offended? IT’S THE REASON FOR THE SEASON.” (As if there are NO OTHER HOLIDAYS.)


You carry your privilege around
like I carrry the world
Except it’s more like wings than a weight.
It lifts you up above the rest of us, placing you on your pedestal
From where you’d presume to rule the world.
The stuff that swings between your legs
gives you automatic rights to privacy and “equality”.
The way you want to dress and who you want to fuck
fall in line with The Man’s expectations
(I bet you’re friends. Do you work out together?)
And that creamy skin certainly doesn’t hurt.
You’ve never felt the gnaw of hunger or the sting of a slap
You grew up in plenty.
It’s easy to ignore the problems around you
from inside your bubble on top of your pedestal.
You’ve never been questioned, so you assume you’re right
I don’t understand how you can feign to claim so much intelligence
While finding contentment in your ignorance.
The information is there, at your fingertips
But you’d rather use word-of-mouth or your poor judgment
To come to your conclusions.
It’s easy to cry “hypocrite” when you don’t understand the discussion
and it’s easy to be a literalist when you’re frozen in time.
Look up the words
Learn the new definitions
Zoom out and take a look at the culture.
When you watch the suffering and injustice, then ask me
Why I care?
When you deny participation and claim innocence?
It boggles my mind that you defend the atrocious
or brush it off as “irrelevant”
But I’m sure it’s easy not to care when you’ve never been challenged
Since no one can reach you
on your pedestal.