June 2015 Update

Just a general update post! Content notes for all kinds of depression-related stuff and trans things.

Generally been feeling like poop. I need to call my doctor’s office and get them to change my meds in some form or fashion. Prozac has been okay for me, but I think overall it’s not working. Plus it’s giving me super intense dreams/nightmares and the other med she prescribed to cancel out the dreams isn’t doing anything that I can tell.

Super dysthymic lately. I’m having a hard time doing basic things like dishes and laundry and showering. (Thus the apartment is a mess.) Which certainly means I’m not blogging or vlogging much. It’s hard to do things that involve words when you have absolutely nothing interesting to talk about! I’ve been wanting to draw as kind of a gateway back into doing art (something that used to be very important to me), because it requires like no energy, but haven’t felt it in me to do it. A weird thing to say, but the best way to express why I haven’t made anything for several years. Continue reading “June 2015 Update”

Reasonfest 2014!

Goodness, it’s been a while since I posted. Sorry about that. I started a post covering some thoughts on being two-decades-old but apparently never finished it. Whoops.

Anyhow, there’s this group at KU called The Society of Open-Minded Atheists & Agnostics (SOMA) and they put on this con called ReasonFest, which was this past weekend. It was a really good show, though I wish there’d been more people in attendance. There was a debate between Dan Barker and a baptist pastor and I expected more of the pastor’s flock to be there. I’m actually not certain anybody from his church came, so there wasn’t the swell that usually accompanies the debate.

The main theme for the weekend was Joy. JT talked on Friday night about how atheists and secularists find joy in life. Lyz Liddell from the SSA talked about reframing the way we view the fight (sort of as a way to prevent burnout–giving the good things the attention they deserve). The interfaith panel was kinda boring but in the ways you expect “interfaith” to work; nobody wants to step on anyone’s toes. Ed Brayton talked about the harm Christians actively do in our communities today. Darrel Ray tackled the question of whether Jesus masturbated. (There were a couple other talks that I didn’t see because I had to sleep for a bit Saturday morning.) Continue reading “Reasonfest 2014!”

I Have A Birthday Coming Up

Hey, so, I have a birthday later this month. I’ll be turning 20 on the 27th.

There are usually a larger number of people who like me than I’m willing to admit, so I figured I’d give you guys a chance to do nice things for me by presenting you with my Amazon wish list. There’s another specific item I’d like that isn’t on the list because it’s not on Amazon for some reason. It’s a super cool jigsaw puzzle.

If you’d like to contribute to covering medical (prescriptions, IUD) or living expenses, or if you don’t have my address, (or if you just feel like sending money) you can use my donate link to send moneys through PayPal. I think there’s a way to add a note so you can specify what you’d like to help out with if it suits your fancy. **Afterthought: I also want to go to CONvergence later this year, and hopefully Skepticon as well! If you’d like to help out with that, make a note of it and your donation will be saved to help pay for that stuff.**

I love all of you. I’m chipping away at a piece for Zinnia Jones’ blog and otherwise trying to become betterer enough to function and do more regular writing. It’s hard. I appreciate having a network of people to support me regardless of whether I get gifts at any point of the year. Most of my friends are internet friends, and you pretty much never let me down.

Such love. Many hugs. Much tired.

**EDITED: I mentioned in a previous post that I’m interested in getting a new toy from Bad-Dragon (NSFW), so, you know… if you wanna help with that, I guess.**

Doctor Who, Cinema, and Being a Smart Person

At this year’s CONvergence, I had the privilege of being on a couple panels. Two of them were Doctor Who-related. One was called “What Do You Think of the New Companion?” and the other was “Neil Gaiman’s Doctor Who Episodes.” I’m not sure which panel this discussion was brought up in and neither of them were recorded, but whatever.

During whichever panel, I was talking about the sci-fi aspect of the show and how I’m really unhappy with how much simpler the show has gotten in respect to the technology and plot. It used to be that the Doctor would launch into detailed descriptions of the technology of his ship, or some alien tech, or how Time and Space function. I mean, a lot of the time he got a blank stare from whoever he was traveling with, but I followed it up to a certain point. Some of it sort of made sense and a huge part of the fun of science fiction is wondering how that fiction translates into real science.

Someone in the audience (both of these panels were really relaxed and more like whole-room conversations with a team of moderators) objected to my objection by basically saying that a lot of that tech stuff goes over people’s heads. I had to stifle my desire to be a giant condescending asshole by telling her that maybe she should find another show to watch.

I’ve been considering this visceral response I had for quite a while and trying to come up with words for why I hate the perpetual simplification of a show I adore for its complexity. Here’s what I’ve come up with: Continue reading “Doctor Who, Cinema, and Being a Smart Person”

Home from CONvergence!

We’ve been home since about one-ish? I had a delirious half-nap earlier and I’m quite tired, since we woke up yesterday morning at like seven. We’re staying up until an appropriate bed time in order to wake up for work tonight. :p bleh

I don’t write enough; it’s one of many problems I’ve allowed to continue for way too long. So even though I’m incredibly tired and my thoughts have been increasingly difficult to organize coherently, and I keep typo’ing, I figured I’d post something.

In short, CONvergence was a blast. I met some cool people and saw some of my friends (many of whom I met at last year’s CON). I got lots of hugs and met Caitlin Blackwood (baby Amy Pond). Degon came with me and got to meet a lot of my buddies, effectively putting names to faces.

I made a pretty important promise to get better, both to myself and Degon. I’m going to do everything I can to keep it.

There’s an adorable kitty in my lap, who missed me. They’re both being so sweet right now.

I’m pretty upset that I have to go to work tonight. Throughout the weekend, I was pretty casual about my plans to quit my job. It seems like it’s fairly-well decided that I need to find a new job quickly. It’s just the healthier decision at this point.

There were some shitty moments, as is to be expected with the depression. And we missed some things I would rather have caught. But overall the good outweighs the bad and I’m going to remember it well.

I may have planted a seed for blogging at FTB someday, but part of me (depression-brain or not) is pretty certain that it’s going to be a forgotten notion. I suppose it seems counterintuitive to try blogging at FTB if I haven’t been blogging at TS or Queereka. It’s hard to describe, but basically I don’t feel like I have the proper structure or voice to blog at a group thing like Skepchick network sites. I guess I feel like there’s a standard of professionalism and non-personalism that I can’t live up to on a regular basis. Meh. I dunno. (I’m also, honestly, kind of done being a “blogger at Teen Skepchick”).

So yeah, I’m glad to be home. Love my kitties, love my Degon. Glad he came with me. Look forward to next year and/or the next time I get to see any of my skeptics.

Being a Blogger at Teen Skepchick

Let me just say that I started the draft for this post weeks ago and I’m finally in a mood to write. I haven’t really done anything productive in the last several weeks. Well, I discovered writing in circular Gallifreyan and got part-way through making a pendant. That’s about it, though.

I started writing for TS in April. It’s a wonderful opportunity to insert myself in a community that I want to really be part of. It’s granted me a platform and an audience, both online and IRL. I have lots of new friends and acquaintances, and I had an opportunity to actually leave my state for a few days! (Crazy, right?) I got to meet Rebecca Watson and fucking PZ Myers. Continue reading “Being a Blogger at Teen Skepchick”

CONvergence 2012!

Okay, it’s been several days, but I think I finally have time to sit down and write a bit about SkepchickCON.

We got in at about 5pm, much much earlier than I had anticipated. We visited the apocalypse panel, met a super super creepy kid, and generally awkwarded around the Skepchick party room.

The Dr. Horrible Sing Along was this night, and it was amazing. The gigantic room was packed. Lots of people would speak with some of the more memorable lines. “Because the status.. is NOT.. quo..” I was a little disappointed at how few people were singing Felicia Day’s parts. I assume it’s partially that I couldn’t hear people, and I can’t blame a lot of them for clinging to the protagonists’s lines. I used my femmy-femme voice to harmonize.

Continue reading “CONvergence 2012!”

On Boobs and Clothing

I’d like to start by saying that BOOBS SUCK SOMETIMES. And also that PERIODS CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES IN THE FACE.

Today, I’m packing for Convergence (well, I’m pretty much done packing), and trying to decide what clothes to bring. Basically, I’ve got all my femme tops, which are cut or otherwise designed around someone having boobs (because obviously, I have them, and have attempted to emphasize them before). In trying to minimize that effect, I’m not bringing any of those shirts.

The ONLY other options are t-shirts, many of which are far too big for me to want to wear them around. They’re cumbersome, and mostly for lazing around the house.

I’ve been contemplating buying a few new shirts, but have been put off by what I see at Wal-Mart. Men’s options are blank t-shirt, graphic t-shirt, and polo. Oh, and button-downs. It just seems so limited after buying femme clothes my whole life. Continue reading “On Boobs and Clothing”


ReasonFest was held this weekend at KU, and I was lucky enough to go on Saturday! I chose not attend on Sunday to help one of my family members clean her house in preparation for a move.

Without going into great detail, I had a lot of fun and I learned a lot of things. For example: Turtles, alligators, and other similar animals have their sex determined by the temperatures they’re exposed to while in the egg, rather than by chromosomes as in humans. (Mark Blumberg) Cool stuff!

I made a couple friends, which was fantastic. (Hurray for Facebook, I can now talk to someone I met who lives in California!) Continue reading “ReasonFest”