An Ignorant Doctor

Content note: This is a post about birth control, sex, mild transphobia, and misgendering to the max.

So, I’m 19 (nearly 20!) and haven’t been on birth control for years. My hubby and I were using condoms for the first couple years and then that pretty much deteriorated, especially after learning cool stuff like how the pull out method is surprisingly effective.

I’ve been wanting to get an IUD for quite some time, for multiple reasons. I don’t want hormonal birth control (like the pill) because I really don’t want a body more full of femme hormones. I don’t want bigger tits and I’m scared of the dysphoria I’ve heard people experience just from having certain hormones in their bodies. I want to get one thing and then not have to deal with it again for a while, and since I don’t want kids for several years, a 5-year simple thing would be the best method. Continue reading “An Ignorant Doctor”


“Respect is Earned, Not Given”

It’s been a long time since I was in elementary school. I mean, not INCREDIBLY long, but still a long time for me. So, time may have skewed this memory, but I seem to recall there being a motivational poster in one of my various elementary classrooms that said something to the effect of “Respect is Earned, Not Given.”

I’ve been thinking about respect a lot lately–mostly because of my incredibly awful boss. This poster memory keeps popping up in my head and I’ve got a lot of thoughts about it.

First off, the motivational poster being in an elementary setting is major bullshit. Thinking about it in that context, it just seems like an excuse for teachers to treat kids like bratty morons while demanding respect from them. That may be incredibly pessimistic, but I’m very aware of how many adults view children in terms of respect for their autonomy/independence/personhood, and it usually doesn’t look good.

Furthermore, I disagree with the poster in principle.  Continue reading ““Respect is Earned, Not Given””

Random Work Convos And Thoughts on Age

Aw, I missed my blog getting 5000 hits! Oh well, I hardly check this thing. No wonder I miss momentous moments like that.

So yeah, last night I got to work and was hanging around while second shift finished counting down their drawers and stuff. I’m pretty friendly with a few of the dudes who work there, and I was chatting with this guy Danny whose birthday was Thursday.

Here’s the conversation, mostly just by my memory.

Me: Oh, happy belated birthday!
Danny: Oh thanks!
Me: How old are you now?
Danny: Iii dunno, guess.
It occurs to me that I’ve definitely talked about Danny’s age before, so I guessed correctly the first try.
Danny: Gah!
Various banter about me ruining the fun by guessing correctly the first try. :p
Me: You should try to guess my age.

Several minutes of other stuff going on.
Me: Not even going to throw out a number?
Danny: Mmm… 26?
Me: Is that a legitimate guess? [I was surprised.]
Danny: Well not with that kind of response!

Yeah, I’m actually 19. I told Danny my proper age and that I was flattered by his guess, which seemed to surprise him. He remarked that I’m the only girl evar to be flattered at an overestimation in age.

First of all, not a girl. (I wonder if he understood what I meant when I said that… I don’t recall telling him I’m genderqueer.) Also I’m not so obsessed with my youthful appearance that I’ll be upset when I do start to look older. And people always guess my age as higher than it is, just no one’s ever priced it that high. I actually was flattered. :p

You see, most of my problems with age have been me being seriously underestimated or assumed to be stupid/irresponsible due to the number of years I’ve been alive. Being seen as younger is a bad thing for me, thanks to conditioning. Mostly before I became an adult, my age was a marker by which I was judged by others and when they found how young I was they treated me differently.

I inquired as to why he guessed so high, and he told me it confuzzled him that I get a lot of pop culture references from his childhood (he’s nearly ten years older than me). Apparently also me being “really smart” (or super smart or something) throws it off, which is generally the most common reason people guess I’m older. (Which says some interesting things about how most people view the young.)

If I’m anything like my dad, when I actually do get to 26, people will guess younger or about that age. My skin will probably be taut for a while. But I won’t be upset when I finally do show signs of age. I’ve looked at myself smiling lately and I know for a fact I’ll have plenty of lines creased in my skin; from laughter, from smiling, from crying too hard to see. And I’m totally okay with that. These developments in my appearance will do nothing but tell the story of how I’ve lived my life.

Laughter lines are attractive anyway.

My Shitty, Shitty Family (part 1,000,000,000,000)

I’ve written about this before; my maternal family is so fucked. It’s very rare that I’ll put up more than one post in a day on this blog, I tend to prefer to space things out. As it happens, my maternal grandmother decided to shoot me an email this morning. I haven’t spoken to my mother since May 2010, at which point I texted her to tell her not to ever contact me or my father again. I’m very rarely moved by the fact that she exists, except to lament the loss of potential.

Her crazy is shared by almost all of her family. I have so very few good memories of any of them when I was young, maybe because it all got blotted out by all the fucked up, violent, hateful things that happened.

For whatever reason, several of the nicer, more caring ones have attempted to have relationships, contact me, etc. The only ones who haven’t given me just cause to write them off are my cousin K and my aunt S *Edit* AND COUSIN D SORRY I FORGOT . You know who you are. Thanks for not being dicks.

This is specifically about my grandmother and my aunt. They’re the ones who’ve made the most recent advances toward us having a relationship. I was finding myself less and less comfortable with being around them and talking to them, especially since I can’t stand for bullshit anymore and have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. Continue reading “My Shitty, Shitty Family (part 1,000,000,000,000)”

Being a Blogger at Teen Skepchick

Let me just say that I started the draft for this post weeks ago and I’m finally in a mood to write. I haven’t really done anything productive in the last several weeks. Well, I discovered writing in circular Gallifreyan and got part-way through making a pendant. That’s about it, though.

I started writing for TS in April. It’s a wonderful opportunity to insert myself in a community that I want to really be part of. It’s granted me a platform and an audience, both online and IRL. I have lots of new friends and acquaintances, and I had an opportunity to actually leave my state for a few days! (Crazy, right?) I got to meet Rebecca Watson and fucking PZ Myers. Continue reading “Being a Blogger at Teen Skepchick”

Religion and Family

My grandmother is in town from out-of-state. She believes in a god, intelligent design, souls, and reincarnation. I visited with her and my aunt earlier this week. My aunt considers herself a non-denominational Christian.

I posted on Facebook on Wednesday (the beginning of Lent) about how I thought Lent was silly. I posed a question asking why people choose to give something up, and asking if anyone had learned anything by this in the past. The post sparked an interesting conversation, in which my aunt and another family member posted their pro-lent ‘whys’ and a couple of my friends posted some lengthy (more atheist) responses. Apparently my family members considered a lot of what my friends said unnecessarily aggressive.

At lunch with my aunt and grandmother, this post was brought up in conversation. I listened and responded quite calmly, and defended my friends’ comments. I agree with my friend in almost all he said, possibly not his approach, but certainly his intent. My aunt repeated her meaning to me, saying that Lent is a chance to give back to your Creator, who sacrificed his life for you. Continue reading “Religion and Family”