Just a general update post! Content notes for all kinds of depression-related stuff and trans things.
Generally been feeling like poop. I need to call my doctor’s office and get them to change my meds in some form or fashion. Prozac has been okay for me, but I think overall it’s not working. Plus it’s giving me super intense dreams/nightmares and the other med she prescribed to cancel out the dreams isn’t doing anything that I can tell.
Super dysthymic lately. I’m having a hard time doing basic things like dishes and laundry and showering. (Thus the apartment is a mess.) Which certainly means I’m not blogging or vlogging much. It’s hard to do things that involve words when you have absolutely nothing interesting to talk about! I’ve been wanting to draw as kind of a gateway back into doing art (something that used to be very important to me), because it requires like no energy, but haven’t felt it in me to do it. A weird thing to say, but the best way to express why I haven’t made anything for several years.
(…I guess I made a couple hats and a not-long-enough-to-use rainbow scarf. Crocheting doesn’t rate very highly for me in artistic expression anyway.)
As I mentioned, I’m having difficulty making myself shower when I need to, so I’ve been getting more acne. Mostly it shows up on my back, shoulders, chest, and along my jawline. I’ve also started getting tiny pimples on my tummy area? Kinda weird.
My voice has been cracking quite a bit, which is fun. I can’t sing very many songs well any more. :p Degon said it’s more “resonant” and that’s when I was trying to speak in a range in which it wouldn’t crack. My normal tones are too high now…
Relationship stuff is all sorta wonky right now for me. I have no idea what’s going on or how I feel about anything and I haven’t been wanting to talk about it, partly because I’m megaconfused.
Work is hella stressful and I really should do something about it besides just working less. Looking for another job is terrifying, but I’ve at least started perusing craigslist. I’m not sure if I need to update my resume, but probably.
I’m going to CONvergence! Which is really exciting. I’m looking forward to seeing all my friends and learning a bunch of new stuff and seeing cool cosplays and buying stuff and GETTING DRUNK WITH MY BUDDIES. This is the first year I can do that!
Also, we’re moving out at the end of July! Still haven’t figured out where we’re moving exactly, but it’s happening.
So yeah, mixed bag.