Before I lose my nerve

My depression has been getting worse over the last year or so, and I’m trying to dig my way out. It’s not easy, especially since things like doctors and pills and psychiatrists cost a lot of money.

I’m doing what I can to cope: I’m trying to change the way I think to prevent triggers from happening or from impacting me severely. I’m eating, and trying to bring it back down into a healthy range so I don’t keep putting on weight. Eating sugar shit all the time is not good and I’m knocking that off. I’m monitoring my caffeine intake and taking ambien to try to have more restful sleep.

Resigning from TS and Queereka was part of the “clearing off the table” thing where I try to make my life simpler. That’s the idea right now: stay healthy, be stable, have fun. Simple.

Unfortunately, my efforts are crippled by a lack of a good chemical base from which to operate. I’ve been taking Wellbutrin for a little over a year and it’s not quite doing the trick. My doctor prescribed me Adderall because she thinks I may have ADD and that the “upper” aspect of it would help some of my droopier depressive symptoms.

I don’t know if having Adderall is going to fix the problems I want fixed, but I can see it making my life a lot easier. Being able to think straight would be a blessing right now.

My insurance will cover about $200 of the prescription, and my copay is $140. I really, really can’t afford that right now. I don’t want to have to reallocate food money so I can get this script, but that’s where we’re at.

Which is why I’ve turned to you, dear readers. I know I don’t post super consistently, but that’s a problem solved by solving my depression issues. If you want to help me get this prescription so I can feel better, if you want to see more writing and more jewelry coming from me (as well as many undecided potential perks), I ask that you pitch in a couple of your hard-earned dollars via the donate button.

Of course, I won’t ask people to donate if they can’t. But if you have some spare cash, loose change or a choice between bad coffee, meh coffee, or me getting pills… Maybe help me get my pills?

Not for nothing, though! I’ve had plenty of ideas building up that I haven’t been able to hash out, so here’s some of my bottled-up ideas that I’ll be better able to express when I have my sanity:

My best friend coming out as a trans man and how that affects me
The words pansexual and bisexual, what they mean, and how I think we ought to use them
People tend to minimize illnesses in general, possibly out of cultural fear of medical debt
How I feel about people insinuating I’m a reddit atheist
A new video expanding on my last video about mental illness and religious extremism

Those are the kinds of things you can look forward to once I’ve gotten some of my sanity back. Which will move much more easily if I have the ability to purchase my Adderall. So donate maybe?

Plus, I might offer some incentivey reward for donating a couple bucks. A public thank you, at the minimum. Cute pictures likely.

PS the donate button is on the right ————————->>>>>>>>>>>
—————————————————and then on the bottom vvvvvvvvvvvv


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