Before I continue editing all the posts I just imported… I figured I’d let you guys know how my new drug-cocktail worked out.
Here’s the short version: It didn’t work out.
Lexapro made it so impossible to sleep that I weaned myself off and stopped taking it without consulting my doctor. I know, blah blah, that’s one of those things you aren’t supposed to do. I ran out of Ambien and since it wasn’t really helping any way, I didn’t bother calling to renew my prescription.
So here’s the reason I haven’t contacted my doctor about this stuff: First of all, she told me at one point to walk barefoot in the grass to absorb the bioelectric energy. Kay? We all seeing the problem there? Cool.
In addition to that, I have been going to a community health center since I didn’t have insurance when I initially sought treatment. This means that my doctor is only at the clinic a couple of days a week and she’s usually booked out for months. I visited her in late July, she told me to have the desk people schedule me for another appointment in a month. I got that appointment scheduled for September 9th. Not bad.
But then she called in sick that day, and they couldn’t fit me in AT ALL until October 29th.
So I asked if there’s someone else I can see. They told me that if I started seeing a new doctor, I’d have to start the whole process over again, beginning with an hour-long evaluation that I’ve already done… And there aren’t any available appointments to do that until December.
When my brain allows me, I’m going to find another MD to work with me on figuring out meds. Every time I go to the community clinic I feel like I’m imposing on their time and I pretty much never feel like my doctor cares to explain anything about the meds to me. I need an office that makes me feel like they want to work with me instead of prescribing something and sending me off after a ten minute visit.
My current job’s insurance doesn’t meet the minimum standards under the ACA, so there might be some changes to that. I’ve never been sure in a year and a half what it’ll actually cover. When I quit, I’ll probably have a lapse of time without insurance before I start a new job.
Pretty much there’s a lot of shitty things going on and I’m not stable enough to handle any of it. I’m suicidal basically every day. I’ve only been in “crisis” once during this and my dear friend Josh was around to help me. But I seriously can’t keep Doing Things unless I have a foundation to work from. And unfortunately that’s only possible with chemicals.