This is just a basic run down of the highlights (or lowlights, whatever) of the last couple months.
I never blogged more about CONvergence, and I might not. It was pretty awesome though, even if my sleep-deprived recollection couldn’t do it justice.
I blogged a bit ago about a new coworker and how I thought she was awesome. Well, she got fired for stealing and then I found out that she told people that *I told her* I had a threesome with two of our other coworkers. AWESOME. Pissed me off so fucking much.
And then there’s another person I worked with who I really liked, who quit via text-message and apparently gave no shits about my opinion about his quitting, but did care about the opinion of the coworker he hit on all the time. This pisses me off because a) he’s married [monogamously], b) she has a partner, and c) she had only been working there for like a month, whereas I thought we had been friends for several.
Lesson learned: Stop becoming friends with coworkers unless it’s a stable work environment where the people are there because they want to be and have qualifications to be there. Read: Not until I work for an atheist org, if that shit ever happens.
The woman who has been routinely making me feel unwelcome at work never had a report put in about the behaviour, but she has stopped giving me the cold-shoulder. Since the girl who was helping us out got fired, we’ve been having to work more as a team. We’ve been doing some small-talk fairly easily, and she’s telling me about her life again. So that’s better.
I really miss blogging and participating in the community, but it takes so very little to overwhelm me. I’ve been having some engaging arguments on people’s Facebook statuses, and I often see that there’s a response and decline to check it out until a couple days later. It’s just so taxing and stressful that it dissuades me from wanting to get involved, even though I thoroughly enjoy participating when it’s not causing me anxiety.
Blogging isn’t as directly energy-sapping in that way, but I don’t have much to say about stuff. I probably should keep a tab of this open so I can microblog whatever stray thoughts about reading the news, rather than just making comments to Degon. But it doesn’t usually cross my mind, and there are a hundred other reasons I’ve receded from putting out ideas. Lots of them are not exactly appropriate for Teen Skepchick and Queereka, so I rarely have the desire to put anything there. I always say how I should just start blogging here on Metapeen more and then I don’t want to. Blerg.
tl;dr: Jerkbrain is a jerk.
Oh, I published this and immediately remembered what else I wanted to write about: My meds.
I recently told my doctor about all the anxiety and the insomnia, so she took me from 300mg of Wellbutrin/day to 150mg/day. Then she gave me Lexapro at 10mg/day and Ambien at 10mg/night. The pharmacist told me that the SSRI would either give me insomnia or make me very drowsy. It gave me insomnia. The majority of the nights since then, I’ve slept for a few hours and then woken up so often that it wasn’t even remotely a restful sleep. This has made work somewhat hellish. (Oh, this is even while taking the Ambien, and some melatonin on a few nights.)
I spent like twelve hours in bed today though and it was incredibly restful. I have the night off and it feels so good to just chill for a little while. I’m a lot less anxious since I stopped taking as much Wellbutrin and Lexapro is meant to address the anxious parts. Hoping this pans out well over the long-run, since it’s only been about a week and a half since I started the new pills. Wish me luck!