A Test of Character

Hello, everyone! Today I write to you from an empty apartment (barring the cats, of course) because my partner is out-of-state to house-sit for his mom. For two weeks.

Today is the… fourth day of me waking up and coming home to an empty apartment. It may seem weird, but the title of this post is heavily applicable because I genuinely consider this a test.  Continue reading “A Test of Character”

Something optimistic for once

I wrote this three months ago and have no idea why it didn’t end up getting published. Anyway.

 

I was just looking back on some of my oldest posts (from way back on Blogger) and then some of my recent posts, and I realized just how much my depression has slowly consumed my life over the past 5 years.

While several things in my life are less than ideal; frustrating, confusing, what have you; there are a couple good things going on and I’m going to take a moment to remind myself that positivity exists. Continue reading “Something optimistic for once”

On Changing Plans

This is kind of a weird thing to talk about.

I was so sure I wanted to divorce, separate, and move away from my partner. But some recent upswellings of Feels have caused me to doubt those wants. I find myself missing him, since our schedules no longer line up in such a way as we spend much time together. And our finances might not be such that we can afford to separate this year even if we wanted to. Continue reading “On Changing Plans”

I Changed My Facebook Name

Some of you who follow me regularly on various platforms may have noticed that I’ve been uploading on YouTube as Luxander Pond, changed my Twitter name to the same name, and started blogging at The Orbit using the same.

Up until a few days ago, I was abstaining from changing my name on Facebook. Partially because I expected them to require some form of identification from me showing the change, and partially because I wasn’t sure how I felt about changing it there. Continue reading “I Changed My Facebook Name”

Site Change

Alright, so, there’s this awesome new blog collective that launched earlier this month, called The Orbit. It’s a site for nonreligious bloggers who have a particular interest in social justice, and I feel honored and privileged to say that I was invited to be on their roster. Which is awesome!

Here’s a link to our About Us page so you get a full idea of what we do there: http://the-orbit.net/about-us/

I mention this because my blog hosted there is called Metaphorical Penis. I’ve made a slight change to this WP blog, titling it “Luxander’s Blog” and changing the tagline to show it’s a personal blog now. I don’t think I can change the URL without starting a new blog and exporting everything over to it, so I’m content with the superficial change for the time being.

So, my big thought-pieces will be over at The Orbit now. And hopefully some of my silly content will be there, too. This one will be more for the raw personal posts and life updates. (Not that I’ve been particularly active on it for any length of time, but whatever.)

If you’re interested in reading my content, please check me out over at The Orbit!

Doing The Right Things (And Still Being Depressed)

Content: exercise, depression, food, recovery frustration

I’m a little frustrated right now. Well, insofar as I can be frustrated, given that I’m in a depressive slump and don’t feel very much right now.

I’m finding it very annoying that I’m doing a lot more of the proactive things you’re “supposed” to do when you’re in recovery, and yet have somehow managed to end up depressed anyway. This is especially annoying because Exercising is one of the most mentioned things you’re Supposed To Do to alleviate depressive symptoms. I started a regular regiment a few weeks ago and it has been DURING THIS REGIMENT that I’ve slumped back. Continue reading “Doing The Right Things (And Still Being Depressed)”

Things Are Hard. [Recovery/Update]

Content notices for exercise, food, health scare, mental health, financial issues, break-ups

Yeah, things are really weird right now. I have a mixture of really awesome things happening and really awful things happening, some of which I’ve been hesitant to discuss openly, since this is a public blog and it posts to my public Twitter, Facebook, G+ and Tumblr.

I guess I’ll start by telling you the good things that have been happening lately. (And then mixing in the bad because I have a hard time not doing that.) Continue reading “Things Are Hard. [Recovery/Update]”

Weird Feels About Moving

So, I’ve ostensibly had plans to move to Seattle for a while now. It’s a romanticized idea that I’ve had since I was little, but now I’m an adult and I can see the more pragmatic aspects of what it means to move across the country to a big city where I don’t know anyone.

And honestly, it’s been freaking me out. The more I look into what it costs to live there, or how far away from the city I’d have to live to have affordable rent, or think about how I would have to fly out to go to my favorite conventions.. The more it freaks me out. Continue reading “Weird Feels About Moving”

A Year of (re)Invention Update 1

Hey all! It’s been a while since I posted because I just haven’t felt particularly motivated to write, thanks to depression and having other things going on in life. But I wanted to update on some of the things I’ve done to check off on that list I made.

I’ve written in the past about not really liking New Year’s Resolutions for various reasons, so this was a list I made in August with the intention of it lasting until next August, when I ostensibly plan to move somewhere far away from Kansas. But now it’s almost the new year and I wanted to update on it.

I dyed my hair some neon color! It’s been blue for a couple months now and here’s what it looks like today: Continue reading “A Year of (re)Invention Update 1”

A Year of (re)Invention

About a month ago, I got out an old sketchbook and decided I would start keeping my notes for projects and goals and stuff in there. One page contains a list of things I want to do over the next year in order to try to be a person again. And figure out what kind of person I am, since I’ve felt less and less myself over the years.

I wanted to share it here so I can then comment on doing some of the things and have context, and to show how weird I am, I guess.

“A Year of Discovery and (re)Invention” Continue reading “A Year of (re)Invention”